Being a father isn’t easy. The responsibility, the constant struggle to keep everything together- it can all get pretty scary. So if you start searching for the funny side of things, the job gets a little easier. And that is exactly what James Breakwell does. James is the father of four insanely cute and sassy daughters under the age of 6. He is also the mind behind the hilarious Twitter account Exploding Unicorn. He has a hilarious take on his day to day encounters with his four daughters, which he probably exaggerates , along with some incidents that happens with his, pretty tolerant, wife. This amazingly witty and sarcastic dad has been coming up with such superbly well timed Tweets that he has garnered a huge audience with over 408K followers.
3-year-old: Our house isn't very fast.
Me: It's a house. It doesn't move at all.
3: We should get a faster one.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 16, 2016
I do not understand how anyone could argue with that kind of logic. Unsurprisingly, her daughters often win the arguments, leaving him stumped. 😛
[reading "Hansel and Gretel"]
Me: Would you want to live in a gingerbread house?
5-year-old: Does it have Wi-Fi?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 9, 2016
This is what happens when kids learn to FaceTime before they learn to walk or talk. Wi-Fi is more important than a little magic in their lives. 😛
3-year-old daughter: Will I have a baby in my belly someday?
Me: If you want to.
3: No thanks. That's where I put my candy.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2016
I am with you kid, candy over baby any day. I feel it’s really important for kids to set their priorities straight at a very age. And I am glad that she has. 😉
Me: Getting dressed every day is part of growing up.
3-year-old: Growing up is stupid.
Me: I have no counterargument.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 29, 2016
It’s true. Growing up is stupid. It’s really surprising how kids have lives figured out better than most of us adults.
Wife: Have I gained weight since college?
Me: No, you've lost weight.
Wife: So I was fat in college?
Me: *curls up in the fetal position*
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 28, 2016
That is literally the case with every couple. It is impossible for men to reply to a girl and not offend her. This is what people should be taught in school, not algebra!
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