Going through a disease such as cancer is a painful journey. This mum has a complaint that cervical cancer has made her sex life dull. She couldn’t get down to the business for two long years whereas in the past she has had sex up to six times a day.
30 year old, Jessica Shaw has an active sex life until she went under the scissors and had a hysterectomy.
Jessica Shaw is a mother to four children and was detected with stage 3 cervical cancer. The event took place just weeks after giving birth to her youngest child, Ivy. The stress took a toll on her and her relationship as well.
In May 2017, she was diagnosed with cancer. In September 2017, the mum of four had her surgery after being diagnosed with cervical cancer. Since then she hasn’t been intimate with someone. Intimacy has always been an important part of her life and after hearing some terrible stories she has stayed away from the act.
She got her womb and fallopian tubes removed and later she started to complain about backache and nausea. After some time, she even started to bleed and she went to A&E. After all the CT scans and surgery, doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with her. However, in June 2018, she received devastating news that even after getting a hysterectomy, doctors managed to miss a tumor on her cervix.
Heartbroken Jessica then thought of finding her solace in her then-boyfriend. The relationship was on and off and he said that he couldn’t go through more stress and that is when he gave up totally.
She went on to explain how he managed to break her heart further and said, “A few weeks before, my boyfriend had bought me a really nice dress to go to the races in. He had promised me the world and I thought he was going to support me again through this. But when I went to his house and told him that they had found cancer again, he looked at me and said he couldn’t do it anymore. Cancer had meant we never had intercourse anymore, as after I had my hysterectomy I’d read a lot of horror stories. The fact I was going to have to have radiotherapy meant we couldn’t sleep together. He never said that directly but I think that had something to do with it.”
She is still very much scared of intercourse but talking to other patients, she feels better and that is how she feels less alone. She was initially angry on her then-boyfriend for making her life miserable by leaving her at that point of time but she doesn’t blame him anymore.
Now, she has been single for nine months, even though she has got her reports all clear she still hasn’t got her confidence back to resume her love life.
Rebecca Shoosmith, Head of the support service explained that the intercourses can be very different after cervical cancer, reasons can be different for different individuals. Talking about how you feel and asking for help is what you should do when you are in such a situation. Taking things at your own pace is an important thing to do. She believes that it is important to talk about this stuff as it is not a taboo and it shouldn’t be.